a little too serious for the "second" post

It seems now, mere hours after I've made the decision to become a dedicated blogger, and not a dedicated podcaster, that I'm becoming obsessed, feeling that every little minute detail of my life or thought passing through my head is important for my readers and devoted fans (all three of us) to know. I'll spare you the gory facts and unpleasentries of my life , but there is one thing I'd like to share.

As you (should) know, I'm a teenage girl. I don't care if you harass me, because none of y'all know who I am or where I live, and that is simply because of the fact that I am a teenage girl.

Now, keeping in mind that I am a teenage girl, and that teenage girls have all sorts of hormones running through their arteries and veins at any point in time, I say with great difficulty that I have never had a relationship of intimacy with a member of the opposite species. Nor have I ever "hooked up", nor had any "friends-with-benefits". I know you're asking yourself, what's wrong with this girl? Don't worry, I'll get to it.

So, I see all these girls with boyfriends (even an acquaintance of mine whom I thought still believed all boys had "cooties", for lack of a better word), and I think to myself, what do these girls have that I don't. Then I had an epiphany of sorts (even though I sort of knew all this already). It's not what I don't have, but it's what they don't have (besides 40 or so extra pounds).

They don't have a debilitating social phobia, like moi. They don't get sweaty and anxious walking through the halls at school, their pulses don't race when someone looks at them slightly funny or when a teacher calls on them in class. They don't readjust their shirt 20 times in class because they think some or another thing is just a wee bit off-kilter. They have more than a few friends and acquaintances, and they don't just stay silent all day because they're afraid of saying what they've gone over and rephrased twenty times over in their head. Their OK. And I'm not. And that's something you should know.